Usually when I say that something is so suburban or totally middle American, I am paying that thing a nostalgic and heartfelt compliment full of secret admiration and quite open city girl self loathing. In fact, in the nine months that I have been writing this blog I cannot think of one time where I in anyway disparaged the great tyrannical majority. I like malls... I like perfectly manicured lawns... I like kids playing sports... I loooovvve men playing sports...
But I have learned that I hate men at car shows. Men at car shows remind me of the worst men in bible yielding, gay bashing red states. The men at this car show were almost all three of four things- old, mustached, fat and/or sexist. Be they leaning over car hoods or sitting in folding chairs with their posse, be they beefed up Tom Selleck types or pale flabby geriatrics in bowling shirts, they all craned their necks for a good look. Many made comments, and some of these comments were disgusting and made by those years older than my long departed granddad.
The classic car show has been held for years in the parking lot of Bob's Big Boy, a 1950's car hop chain famous for the statue of a devious, dip-cone colored, burger wielding toddler that guards it. Every Friday night, from five to ten, the aforementioned creepsters, along with some women, many of the biker persuasion, join together to show off old cars, sell old cars, drink inconspicuously (your loose lips and red noses give you away boys!) and sit...they do lots of sitting.
I get it. There is no greater heaven than sitting somewhere scenic, b.s.ing with friends you love in the early evening. But they have to be your particular crowd or else it is boring and uncomfortable as hell, and the classic car and fried food set isn't exactly my cup of tea. The actual lot is pretty small and filled with about 30-50 cars, a few spiffed out beauties, a great many older models that I could discern nothing brilliant in. But keep in mind that the only brilliant thing I ever notice about a car is a brilliant color and a hot owner.
But if I am trying to have an expert's eye, I would say I have seen much cooler cars at countless state fairs. Unless you are really a car aficionado, a quick one minute walk through on your way to tuna melts and a shake is probably all you'll need. Cool idea though. Cool idea, wholesome theory...but like some of America, pretty scudzy in practice.
Travel: C(rush hour, 101, Friday night...need I say more?).
Subjective coolness: C-
Directions: From Hollywood take the 101-N to the Barham Blvd. exit. Turn right on Barham. After about a mile continue on West Olive. Turn left on North Pass, turn left at West Riverside. Bob's will be on your right at 4211 West Riverside. Ironically, it's street parking only, because the parking lot is filled with...cars!
Hours:Every Friday 5-10pm.
Price: Free, excepting your female dignity.